Monday, October 4, 2010

Dark Night of the Soul

I don't know if I can paint anymore.
Colors have lost their meaning, food has no flavor.

The past 21 days have been a living nightmare I can't wake up from.

I feel a great and terrible sadness and will never be the same.

My newest series of paintings are all in Pain's I mean Payne's Grey.

Anhedonia by Tiffany Gholar. Acrylic and graphite on recycled paper and carboard


Anhedonia by Tiffany Gholar. Acrylic and graphite on recycled paper and carboard


Anhedonia by Tiffany Gholar. Acrylic and graphite on recycled paper and carboard


This may be my swan song, for I, like a swan, had hoped to mate for life.
I am not sure what is to become of us now.
I do not know if or what I will ever paint again, but I will finish these, at least.

I am painting from deep within the abyss,  from a chasm in my soul.  To see the ugliness of my own actions, to recoil in disgust from what I have done and cannot undo, to wonder why I should ever be forgiven or forgive myself, that is the dark night of my soul.



Lacrimosa dies illa
Qua resurget ex favilla
Judicandus homo reus.
Huic ergo parce, Deus:
Pie Jesu Domine,
Dona eis requiem.
Amen.

4 comments:

  1. Thanks, Lawrence. Glad you liked the post. I will post more photos and write more about the "Dark Night of the Soul" series as I continue to work on it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hola Tiff

    I'm sad about your tough times, yet proud of the new work you've been posting lately.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Gracias, Antonio.

    I appreciate the encouragement. I had a chance to see some of your work and I like your art as well.

    ReplyDelete

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