Dark Night of the Soul

I don't know if I can paint anymore.
Colors have lost their meaning, food has no flavor.

The past 21 days have been a living nightmare I can't wake up from.

I feel a great and terrible sadness and will never be the same.

My newest series of paintings are all in Pain's I mean Payne's Grey.










This may be my swan song, for I, like a swan, had hoped to mate for life.
I am not sure what is to become of us now.
I do not know if or what I will ever paint again, but I will finish these, at least.

I am painting from deep within the abyss,  from a chasm in my soul.  To see the ugliness of my own actions, to recoil in disgust from what I have done and cannot undo, to wonder why I should ever be forgiven or forgive myself, that is the dark night of my soul.

Lacrimosa dies illa

Qua resurget ex favilla

Judicandus homo reus.

Huic ergo parce, Deus:

Pie Jesu Domine,

Dona eis requiem.

Amen.