I Know Where I've Been

Being Black, I already know how it feels to be judged by the actions of the worst people in my group, to be the object of collective disdain and the target of collective punishment, to be perceived as guilty by association, to be met with unwarranted disgust, to be treated as unwelcome, unwanted, and untouchable, all because of stereotypes and generalizations. Lately, other more privileged Americans have been getting a little taste of what that's like as social media accounts from users who claim to be based outside the US issue rage-filled posts accusing all of us of not doing enough to stop our evil, illegitimate president and his villainous regime. And before I let their invective get under my skin, I stop myself, give the posts the side-eye, and say, "I know you're not talking to me!"

I know where I've been. I know what I've done to try to prevent all this before it started. All the years of voting. The boycotts. The phone calls and e-mails and letters to representatives. The petitions I've signed. The meetings I've attended. The rallies and marches I've been a part of. The art I've made and books I've written. Only to be told to shut up or leave the country, or even to "get a job" when I was actually participating in a protest on my lunch break. All these years, trying and failing and being ignored. Rarely seeing any of it come to fruition. Trying not to become demoralized. 

Ella Baker said, “We who believe in freedom cannot rest.” Angela Davis said that “freedom is a constant struggle.” In the Black National Anthem, James Weldon Johnson wrote, “let us march on ‘til victory is won.” And yet in 2025, social media accounts with Black faces in their profile pictures said, "this is not our fight." How strange.

I can't help but wonder how much of this is a form of psychological warfare. Bots plant the seeds and legit accounts water them. Some of the accounts spreading these ideas are suspicious, but I also saw an account for a Canadian wooden toy company joining in. This has been happening for almost a year, and on Bluesky too, not just on Threads and Twitter, as infamous as they've been for their manipulative algorithms.

As a result, instead of coalitions and solidarity, we have wedges driven between us. I believe that most of the common people of the countries of the world have more in common with each other than the ruling classes that seek to divide us with their bot campaigns. They don't want another movement like the Arab Spring, Occupy or Black Lives Matter to take off on social media because it threatens their power.

It seems like many have tapped into the destructive, lizard-brained desire that some people have to watch the world burn. Some of the messaging encourages violence. According to them, every protest march I've ever been to was meaningless because no one set anything on fire. Meanwhile, they have no idea what people in Chicago have been dealing with since Trump declared war on our city, and I suppose our Black mayor and Lieutenant Governor were also supposed to rest or sit this one out or whatever because they voted the right way in November 2024 instead of publicly and unapologetically standing up for their constituents at rallies. (See how nonsensical that way of thinking becomes in real life?)

Anyway, I don't believe in wasting my time explaining my actions to strangers on the internet. I have nothing to prove to the discouragement bots and their hive mind of followers. I know what I've seen. I know what I've done. I know where I've been.

2025: A Retrospective

A discarded New Year's decoration I saw on the ground in January 2025

For me, 2025 has been a year of dread and longing. This year has been been as bad as I thought it would be. Possibly worse. This has been a year that began with a loved one in the hospital and ended with that same relative hospitalized once again.

My aunt Joyce Gholar at my studio in 2012

It has been a year of many losses. This year I have lost: my cousin Sheila, my Aunt Joyce, my Aunt Helen, and my cousin Darrell, mot to mention the people I've lost to depression and dementia this year. That's a different kind of grief, one for the living.

My losses have also been in the virtual/digital arena, most notably Society6, which closed both of the stores I had on there for years because they weren't popular enough. (Maybe my stores would have been less obscure if Society6 had promoted them even once!)

And on top of everything else, our dire sociopolitical straits. 

The response on social media this time around, in the absence of the cohesive Twittersphere I once was part of, has been abysmal. On one hand, there have been Black (bot?) accounts telling us to rest, and on the other, (bot?) accounts from outside the US berating us not doing enough. Meanwhile in Chicago...

We have been in a constant courtroom battle for our civil rights. Knowing that it didn't have to be this way causes me unbearable pain. My soul is tired.

The highlights of my year have mainly come from art and design, my own work, or that of others. This year I had two pop-up shows in an office complex and a two month long solo show. 

I also published my sixth art book, Make Something Real. I celebrated my 15 year anniversary in my studio building. I had an open studio on Valentine's Day. My three favorite museum exhibits were Project a Black Planet: The Art and Culture of Panafrica and Elizabeth Catlett: “A Black Revolutionary Artist and All That It Implies” at The Art Institute of Chicago and Africa Fashion at the Field Museum. The intense summer heat wave made me feel less inclined to go to a lot of outdoor art fairs, but I attended EXPO at Navy Pier in the spring. I went to four trade shows: The Inspired Home Show, NeoCon, Design Chicago, and Chicago Build. I went to the theater and saw two films that I really enjoyed: Sinners and The Phoenician Scheme. I also had a chance to see The Spook Who Sat by the Door for the first time at Robert Townsend's film festival fundraiser at Columbia. (And I did all of these things while still wearing a mask.)

Besides my untitled mini paintings and collages, this year I made Dark Oxygen and Magenta Crush. 

Another work in progress I didn't blog about yet

I didn't make a lot of new artwork this year, but my works in progress are progressing. 

I was a featured artist at EcoShip Chicago (a place more people should know about) and had some mini artwork in a show at the Oak Park Art League.

I did my best to give myself some things to look forward to, but the financial rewards I hoped for just haven't materialized. The frustrating paradox of 2025 is that it's easier than ever to accept debit and credit card payments, but the affordability crisis has rendered many potential customers too broke to buy fun things like art. 

Sorry I'm not ending this post on a positive note, but 2025 has taken a lot out of me. Living in this dystopia is exhausting.

Shirt by Samantha Rei (alterations by me)

Elizabeth Catlett: “A Black Revolutionary Artist and All That It Implies” at the Art Institute of Chicago

I feel bad that, other than her iconic "Sharecropper," I knew so little of her life and work until going to the Art Institute of Chicago's Elizabeth Catlett: “A Black Revolutionary Artist and All That It Implies.”

It's a powerful show about a Black woman artist who lived a fascinating life. Despite the obstacles she faced while pursuing her education, she had the opportunity to study with Grant Wood, and later found freedom and inspiration after moving from the United States to Mexico. 

Sharecropper

Glory

Untitled (composition for a peace poster)

Angela Libre and Homage to the Panthers

Mother and Child

Stargazer

Political Prisoner

Homage to My Young Black Sisters

Nat Turner

Harriet Tubman

As you can see, Elizabeth Catlett worked in a variety of media. She even created a series of prints whose titles come together to form a poem.

The show will be ending on January 4th, so I went just in time. If you're in Chicago, see it while you can!