I don't feel like resting

I don't feel like resting | cut paper on canvas panel | 5" x 7" | 2025

"We are resting," They've said. And I get it. There is psychological exhaustion, trauma, fatigue. Recovery takes as long as it takes. It was presumptuous and cruel of anyone to demand Black activism without acknowledging the devastation of the election and asserting the right to rest was essential.

But then, "we are resting" became the standard response to anyone Black who wanted to protest. Where there had once been an understanding that some might sit out because they were tired while those of us who still wanted to be part of various actions would do so, now "we are resting" became an order. And then, "we are resting" became a refrain of shame directed at any Black person on social media who opposed their monolithic thinking.  But I never asked to be included in the "we" who was resting. Why should I rest when I'm not tired?

When I was growing up, there was a gospel song the choir at my church would sing that had a repetitive chorus of "I'm not tired yet," and it often came to mind when I was being told to take naps when I wasn't sleepy. I've been thinking about that song and have re-experienced that same long-ago frustration many times over the past few months. 

The rest advocates never seem to consider how cathartic protesting can be. To take justified hatred of injustice and oppression and direct righteous indignation like a laser, to be surrounded by other people who feel the same way, to take a stand in public—all of these things are so much better than having to hide anger, misdirecting it, or turning it inwards.

The alternatives to protesting almost always seem to require extra time or money that I don't have at my disposal right now, as well as spending extended periods of time in crowded indoor spaces with volunteers whose idealism never seems to include wearing masks and providing air purifiers. Protests have become the only place where masking is still fairly common. 

Anyway, if you are resting, I respect that. It's not my job to tell anyone what to do or how to feel. Go ahead and keep resting, but stop trying to force me to rest when I don't feel like it.